September 20, 2007
Yuppies Poop Everywhere
This whole yuppie thing is getting ridiculous.
Yesterday after getting home from work, I heard loud yelling of obscenities outside our apartment.
I looked out the window, and our next-door neighbor was hollering at a young woman walking her dog. The dog had crapped on the sidewalk, and apparently she was just going to walk away without cleaning up after it.
This occurred just as he arrive home from work, and he took great exception to this. I don’t blame him, as this is a significant problem in this city. I understand not wanting to pick up dog poop, but if you don’t want to deal with it, don’t get a dog. Or live somewhere else.
Rather than taking a rational approach and speaking to her in a calm, civilized manner, he began screaming obscenities at her with his thick Eastern European accent:
“YOU FUCKING YUPPIE JUNKIE PIECE OF SHIT! YOU CLEAN UP AFTER DOG! I PAY TAXES FOR THIS SIDEWALK AND I DON’T WANT STEP IN SHIT! CLEAN UP! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT YUPPIE JUNKIE!”
Now, I agree with his overall point. And sure, sometimes you just want to scream at or strangle random strangers in this city. It’s a function of living in such close quarters with so many people.
What I really took exception with was his choice of insults: “yuppie” and “junkie.”
Around our neighborhood, I’ve learned that “yuppie” is code for “I’ve lived here for many years, my family has lived in this neighborhood for generations, and you 20- to 30-something white kids are moving in here and gentrifying our neighborhood.”
The thing is, it’s true on a certain level. Yes, there are a lot of young people and young families moving into our neighborhood, ourselves included. So we’re young, we’re urban, and we’re professionals.
But if the best you can do is scream at people in your foreign accent, you’d best rethink your approach. I’m far from a xenophobe: I think a diverse mixture of many cultures and ideas is fantastic.
But guess what: we’re all foreigners, homes. We moved to New York and this neighborhood from somewhere else, and you or your family moved to this country from somewhere else. We’re all just here making our way in the world. So get up off the idea that you somehow have a claim on the territory, or are some sort of arbiter over who is acceptable in your neighborhood and who isn’t.
What if I yelled at the guy: “You fucking foreign piece of shit! Learn better English! Go back where you came from, you foreign piece of shit terrorist!”
Not cool. Just as uncool as what he did.
Let’s just be civilized. That’s what makes this amazing experiment of a city work.
And for the love of all that is good, if you have a dog, pick up its jobs from my sidewalk. Or I’ll sic my neighbor on you.
